A Dreaded Trip

I am so not looking forward to heading back to Oklahoma tomorrow. A cousin of mine died last week and the funeral is being held tomorrow afternoon.

It is such a sad situation. This woman is a mother of 10 children (they are all adults now -- ranging from mid-40's to lower 20's). She was a christian woman who led somewhat of a hard life during her younger years. My grandmother ended up raising her after a certain poing (my grandmother's sister was somewhat of a party person who didn't do well taking care of her kids). My cousin took care of her children but there was quite a bit of dysfunction in their household due to the man she married (thank God she got out of that horrible marriage). I remember my younger sister and I visiting them a few summers when school was out. They didn't have the largest or fanciest house and were not considered well-off financially, but we had a wonderful time. We would go to church with them (they were of the Holyness faith) and the services were much different than those of our Baptist church. In addition to the adults, you had kids singing, shouting and playing the tamborine like they received formal training.

About 2 months ago a cousin called to tell me that this particular cousin was sick, to the point where she couldn't walk or use her hands. It was finally determined that she had muscular dystrophy. No one said anything about it being life threatening. She was either in the hospital or a nursing home in Missouri where she was living. The last thing I had heard about her was that a few of her children were working on moving her back to Oklahoma so that they could take care of her. I received a phone call from my oldest sister last Thursday informing me that she had died.

My heart is aching. I truly dread going tomorrow but I wouldn't want to not go. It's sad whenever someone you love dies, but for me, when it's a mother (regardless of the children's ages) it causes my own pain of losing my mother to intensify. I pray that her children will find peace and comfort in knowing that she is no longer suffering and is in a much better place.