There's no excuse. . .

for blatant rudeness!! Yesterday I heard someone in a management position talk rudely to 2 different people (her office is across the hall from mine). I understand that she's not feeling well (and has been sick for at least or week). I even feel bad for her -- to a certain extent.

But, if your illness causes you to talk to others in a demeaning and/or unprofessional and disrespectfull manner -- stay home. I mean, let's be real here. There are many people who go to work daily who at some time or another have not been feeling their best. There are others who are dealing with difficult personal issues but still show up for work and perform their job duties without snapping at co-workers.

I don't care what your title is, where you received your college degree, what level of higher education you have completed, what your last name is or how much you're getting paid -- this does not grant you the right to be rude to others.

What's worse is when those being disrespected don't speak up for themselves. To be honest, this person behaves in this very same manner at times even when they are not ill.

How would I have handled the situation if it would have been me? Good question. Honestly, I would have had to make sure that I had the right frame of mind before I tried to deal with the situation. Sometimes it's best to choose to walk away and address the issue at a later date to prevent things from getting worse.

Saved & Single

What makes you think that just because I am an attractive woman of Godly intelligence that I'm incomplete without a mate? Who told you that without a man something's missing from my life? And if so, what would that be?

Love? I love myself and more importantly I love the Lord. He told me that when I delight in Him, He will give me the desires of my heart. Security? I have everything I need according to His riches in glory. Intimacy? Now, how's a man going to get to know me when he doesn't even know who he is in the Lord.

See my Father told me I'm above a ruby's worth and a gem does not seek, it is sought. I'm single and that's all right with me. See, it's not that I oppose relationships it's that I detest co-dependency. As a woman I know it is not my role to chase after any man. Esther 2:14 reads that I am to wait on my king and when he's delighted in me he will call me by my name.

My Lord does not intend for me to be needy or desperate. I am to be herished, Relished, Valued, and Honored. It's not my job to convince him or convict him of that. My mate will already know it and consistently show it and he will stay on his knees daily - not just to adore me but to praise the Lord for the virtuous woman he has found.

So, when you see me by myself - I'm not alone. I know what I have coming to me. I'm single and saved, and right now that's all I need to be!

- Author Unknown

Duped by Wal-Mart?

If you were one of the unfortunate victims who showed up at a Wal-Mart store in the wee hours of the morning, hoping to purchase a laptop only to find that they only had about 4 or 5 in stock (o.k. - a bit of an exaggeration) then click on the link below to make your frustration known.

http://walmartstores.com/GlobalWMStoresWeb/navigate.do?catg=224

I just had to let them know about my disgust with their unethical business practices -- even though I did not disturb my sleep by waking up before daybreak and heading out into the cold morning air to get to a store where there would more than likely be difficulty finding a parking spot within 1 block of the store. However, on behalf of one of my best girlfriends and one of my favorite bloggers (who loves to 'jus write'), Wal-Mart has recently received my opinion of their after-Thanksgiving Day Laptop Sale Scam. Hey, I'm just calling it what it was.

I Got It!!

Finally, I decided to buy a treadmill. I bought it from a friend this past Friday. It's about 2 years old and wasn't used much. I've used it 3 times since I got it from her. My goal is to lose 10 pounds (and keep it off). It works great. It has power incline, a heart rate monitor, book holder, a rack for weights (not pictured in photo) and some other nice features.

Check it out (Proform 360 P) --

A Nice Looooong Weekend

My Thanksgiving holiday started on Wednesday. I took a day off to take my kids to the dentist & the orthodontist. My daughter had routine x-rays and a cleaning. You would have thought she was getting a tooth pulled. She cried during both -- not a sobbing cry but tears were streaming down her face :( . My son had already been to the dentist several weeks earlier. Aside from needing braces his teeth are in good health. Since all of his baby teeth haven't fallen out yet he will have to go back to the orthodontist in 6 months to have his braces put on.

I've postponed going to see my family until Christmas. I wasn't alone however. Some of the ladies from my single parents small group came over for Thanksgiving dinner. I made the cornbread dressing & sweet potato pies. We also had homemade macaroni & cheese, Cajun fried turkey, honey baked ham, green beens and cake. I ate waaaaayyyyy too much but I had a wonderful time. I plan on walking around the upstairs track this evening while my son is at basketball practice. This will be my kids first year playing basketball. I've signed them up with the league at our church.

I had a mishap with my computer keyboard on Saturday (as I was trying to finish a last minute assignment for my pre-Algebra class). I also had a test due on Sunday that I have not taken. Fortunately, the instructor is allowing me to turn it in by tomorrow.

I didn't do any after Thanksgiving Day shopping. I'm going to wait a couple of weeks.

I had a wonderful long weekend, but it went by much too fast.

Verse for the Day

Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil. Ephesians 5:15-16

37 Years

Yeah, that's right -- Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me-e. Happy Birthday to meeeeeeeee!!! -- I really can sing ya'll :) .

So many things to be thankful for; 1st - that I woke up this morning, 2nd - that I made it to work ON TIME (for the first time this week); 3rd - for my loving children, friends & family (I've received 3 calls already by this morning); 4th - for my job; 5th - for my health; 6th - that I'm in my right mind; 7th - for my own transportation; 8th - for shelter, food & clothing; 9th - for a God who loves me in spite of my faults; 10th - even though I'm 37 I don't look it :) .

Peace!

Enjoying life . . .

for the most part. Well, until I received an e-mail from my daughter's teacher this morning. Why do I let little things stress me out so easily. I just expect more from my daughter. She's a wonderful child but I know she can be a bit stubborn (or 'defiant' as her teacher said). I know teachers get frustrated. But, I'm frustrated as well. I believe in spank children when necessary and I think my little angel maybe long overdue. It breaks my heart to think about it but she has got to remember why she goes to school. She also needs to remember who is in charge, and it's NOT her. I was spanked as a child and it did not have a negative impact on my life as I grew older. It kept me from messing up a 2nd time (much more often than not).

My son has improved his grades in the 2 classes that he was seriously messing up in. He has also been accepted into a mentoring program for boys that I am very excited about. We have a very short meeting with the president of the organization tomorrow.

I hope that this day ends on a good note. I have a meeting at my home with other single parents. It is always an enlightening time when we get together.

The newest family addition

As of Monday I my kids and I have a new addition to the family. She is 13 weeks old and her name is Jazzi -- Ms. Jazzi to be exact. She is full of character. For those who are not pet and/or dog lovers I'm sure you wouldn't understand a person's desire to have not only more than one child but more than one pet as well.

I've been wanting a playmate for Diesel for awhile now. I knew that I didn't have the money to buy another dog any time soon so my desire to have a 2nd dog didn't get past a thought. Well, on Sunday evening, my daughter comes in from outside where she had been playing and told me that our neighbors said that she & her brother could have their last female puppy if I said it was o.k. (I have met them before and their daughter is the same age as mine, they attend the same school etc., etc.). I was telling her why we didn't need another dog and this child begins to cry these crocodile tears (never understood why people refer to big tears as 'crocodile', but oh well, why stop now). It just broke my heart. She promised to feed her and help potty train her and everything else that involves taking care of an a puppy. She even volunteered to be dog food with the money she has (about $10 to $12). I starting thinking -- it wouldn't hurt to just go and look at the puppy. I put on my flip-flops and walked down the street to the neighbors house to check out this little puppy that my daughter is crying over.

She is sooooo adorable. She even sits when you tell her too! I told the owner that I needed to think about it for 24 hours before I made a decision. Well, I thought about it all night and the next day. My mind was made up by lunch time (as I ran out during my lunch hour to buy a dog toy and other little items for her). She was officially ours at about 8 p.m. Monday night. She and Diesel aren't instantly getting along but this is not uncommon. She has to learn the 'pecking order' -- which may take a few days. Diesel is doing quite well. Believe it or not, she is the one who will start growling if she decides she doesn't want him sniffing her. She even tried to get at him a couple of times. I'm talking about a 13 week old, no more than 15 lb. puppy trying to get at a 2 year old, minimum 70 lb. dog!! It's actually quite hilarious. I'm sure poor Diesel is confused when she lunges at him and he barks and I'm trying to hold him back. I try to praise him for not cutting up even when she does. Last night she fell asleep in my lap and Diesel fell asleep on the floor. He kept sniffing her (I made sure she was NOT facing him) and she didn't act up.

I've read that with some dogs it could take days, weeks or even months before they respond well to one another. I think they've made progress since Monday. I'm guessing that in another week or 2 things will be fine. Ms. Jazzi definitely has a little spunk in her. She eats her food as if she is starving -- which she doesn't appear to be underfed. Maybe she just really likes it.

I am happy with my 2 boxers (no I would not want more than 2 dogs at 1 time). I just hope that they can start playing together soon. And --- my daughter is living up to her promise (so far). She is really helping out. My son earned brownie points by helping me fix the fence (replacing broken boards). One of his friends who came over and waited around for us to finish so that he & my son could go play made the funniest comment. As I was hammering a nail into one of the boards he commented "hey, this is supposed to be a man's job". I just looked at him at first and then replied, "well, if there's no man living in the home then it's a woman's job".

Two adorable kids and 2 gorgeous, loveable dogs -- who needs a man! O.k, maybe I'm taking it a little tooooo far. I certainly could have used a man to fix my fence the other day -- in the heat. It would have prevented me from sweating & messing up my hairdo -- just kidding :) .

Change of Plans

I dropped one of my classes yesterday. It was my Geology class that I attend on-campus twice a week. I have got to make sure that my son stays on top of his homework the school year. I can't successfully do that taking 2 classes, one which was very demanding.

Oh well, gotta do what 'cha gotta do.

A Choice

I would rather live my life as if there is a God, and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't, and die to find out there is.

I received the above via e-mail this morning which echoes my feelings. This made me think about all that is going on in our world today, both the negative and the positive. It's a shame that the catastrophe that has occurred in the Gulf Coast has caused people to behave in such ugly, destructive ways. Thank God for those who are stepping up to do whatever they can without bashing or criticizing others.

What happened in New Orleans is a crying shame. I agree that our government (as a whole) failed the people of New Orleans and others in other cities who were stranded for days without food and water. None of us can be certain that if someone else had been President, that things would have been handled differently. Regardless of who our President is or who has been elected to Congress, the Senate or any other political office - GOD is still in control. Apparently, there is a message that he is trying to get through to us, whether we choose to receive it or not.

It's amazing how many people have applauded Kanye West for his comments. Kanye, nor any other entertainer, actor or actress does NOT speak for me. He feels that Bush doesn't care about black people. Well, for the record -- Bush is NOT my messiah. Bush did NOT breathe the breath of life into me so that I could wake up this morning. Bush canNOT heal my body when I'm afflicted with sickness. Bush is NOT my waymaker. Bush is NOT my comforter. Bush is NOT my deliverer. Bush does NOT determine the outcome of MY life. Bush is NOT my burden bearer -- and he shouldn't be yours either. I will make it a point to be at the polls during the next election just as I was during the previous one. Whatever happens in this world is either caused by God or is allowed by God and nothing or nobody can alter it or stop it.

Instead of spreading words of negativity and discouragement, do something constructive. Do or say something that will enlighten someone else. Touch someone's life with an act of kindness or with words of prayer. Save your energy for helping those who have been displaced and have lost everything. If you can't help someone affected by the hurricane, help someone else who is less fortunate.

There's plenty of time to voice opinions or express your dissatisfaction with the way that the evacuation was handled. It's understandable that many of us are outraged at what has happened, but, there's noting wrong with doing things with decency & tact.

Relief Info for Hurricane Katrina Victims (D/FW Area)

**UPDATE** Oklahoma City University is offering free tuition to students affected by Hurricane Katrina. http://www.okcu.edu/news/Katrina.asp


Here is a link that provides information of a number of organizations and/or churches that are assisting victims of Hurrican Katrina who have found or are seeking refuge in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area. My heart goes out to all of them and I pray that their needs will be met.

http://business.dallasblack.com/relief/

Also, Apartment Hunters has offered free apartments to Katrina refugees for up to 4 months and with no move-in costs. They can be reached at 972-713-2602 or 972-713-0985 for more information or to schedule an appointment. This info was taken from the Dallas Morning News.

Be encouraged.

Too Busy To Blog

Although there are things constantly flowing through my mind, I haven't had the energy or time to put it in writing. My weekend was nice with a bit of a bizarre ending. My kids are starting their 2nd week of school and I am glad to say that week 1 went rather well. Both kids had homework last night that I made them re-do (I know their just loving me to death). I have constantly got on to my daughter about writing her words too close together. She finished writing her sentences before I made it home, but, after checking her work, I had her re-write them making sure to leave spaces between each word.

My son had pretty much finished his math homework when I started looking over his shoulder to see if he was doing it correctly. Half of his work wasn't done correctly. He obviously didn't read the instructions correctly, soooooooooo, homie had to start from scratch (and he had to do it neater). When I looked at his work then 2nd time it was amazing how different his penmanship was. I told him that it didn't look as if the same person had written both assignments. The 2nd time around was extremely neat. We're talking numbers here, but still, I love to see neat handwriting. I told him how proud I was of him and that he was much neater than I had thought.

I start my on-campus class today and I'm a little nervous. There's a tad bit of excitment there as well. Science is not one of my stronger subjects but Geology is much more appealing than Biology II (there is no way I can dissect anything -- living or dead). My prealgebra class shouldn't be bad at all. It's an on-line course plus, I just loooooove me some math. I'm hoping to get a higher grade than C in Geology. I was both relieved and a little disappointed last semester with my C in Biology. I really don't see myself as being an average student. Maybe that will help me work harder this semester.

Toodles :). Got to meet a friend/former co-worker for lunch at Souper Salad.

Characteristics of a Good Woman

A good woman is proud of herself, she respects herself and others. She is aware of who she is. She neither seeks definition from the person she is with, nor does she expect them to read her mind. She is quite capable of articulating her needs.

A good woman is hopeful. She is strong enough to make all her dreams come true. She knows love, therefore she gives love. She recognizes that her love has great value and must be reciprocated. If her love is taken for granted, it soon disappears.

A good woman has a dash of inspiration, a dabble of endurance. She knows that she will, at times, have to inspire others to reach the potential God gave them.

A good woman knows her past, understands her present and moves toward the future.

A good woman knows God. She knows that with God the world is her playground, but without God she will just be played.

A good woman does not live in fear of the future because of her past. Instead, she understands that her life experiences are merely lessons, meant to bring her closer to self knowledge and unconditional self love.

Girl Smile.....YOU KNOW YOU HAVE IT GOING ON! .....So Keep ON Keeping On.

It's amazing how time flies . . .

whether or not you're having fun. I was reminded of how quickly the days pass when my 5 years of employment was celebrated this afternoon by having lunch at Snuffer's with co-workers. I received a nice clock with an engraving of my name and an inscription acknowledging my dedication & hard work over the past 5 years.

I've seen a lot of changes since my first day with the company -- some good, some not so good. I've also seen people come and people go. I've made a few friends and have been blessed to have crossed paths with those who have touched my heart by their kind words and cheerful disposition. I don't know how much longer I'll be here but I pray that my performance and attitude will reflect the presence of Christ in my life, regardless of what's going on in the workplace.

If time on the job has seemed to have flown by then the rate at which my children are maturing is like a rocket in comparison. As of Monday, my son will be in 5th grade and my daughter will be in 3rd grade. Just looking at them change right before my eyes is amazing. Their features, their uniqueness, their own little style and their conversational skills -- sooooo amazing.

Before long, I will be 37 years old. It's seems like I was just posting about my 36th birthday only a few months ago. Now -- here it is August of 2005 and in 2 months and 5 days another year of my life will have gone by. The good thing is, as I look back, I have made some positive moves in my life. I have dealt with difficult situations and am now stronger and wiser because of those temporary road blocks and/or setbacks. I am more determined to be better in a lot of different areas of my life even more-so now than I was back then. I'm not just talking the talk -- I'm also walking the walk. I have set goals -- and I am achieving them.

God has truly been good.

Tomorrow Is Not Promised

How quickly we all tend to forget this until we are touched (either directly or indirectly) by tragedy. Whether it be someone we're related to or someone we know 'in passing', tragedy should always remind us to value each moment that we have in life. From Artist Greggy's auto accident that resulted in the death of his wife, to more recently the death of a neighbor in an auto accident as well. Although I knew neither of the the above personally, my heart ached when I heard about each incident. Greg and I have never met but have communicated via each other's blogs and his kind, cheerful and sometimes uplifting comments have created a positive lasting impression of him in my mind. Since the loss of his wife I have heard from him twice and am glad to say that we consider ourselves friends.

I found out about my neighbor's death last night from my children. My heart truly ached when my daughter told me and I had to just sit for a moment, fighting tears, to collect my thoughts. He and his family lived across the alley from me. He was probably no more than 13 years old and we all new him as 'Jr.' I would see him and his 2 younger brothers often either playing in the driveway or walking in the neighborhood. One day Jr. rang my doorbell to let me know that Diesel (our dog) had gotten out of the fence. On another occasion, he and his brothers mowed my lawn for me. Apparently they had figured out a way to make extra money. Jr. and his 2 brothers would go door-to-door asking people if they would like for them to mow their lawn -- and they were only charging $10 dollars. Not only did they mow my lawn but the edged it as well and trimmed my shrubs. I gave them more than the $10 dollars they asked for and gave them a bag of chips as well. I didn't know much more about Jr. other than his name but for some reason, whenever I saw him I had a good feeling about this young man. He appeared to be somewhat quiet and carried himself in a mature way. There are people that you may see every now and then or notice as you're passing by and you think to yourself 'there is just something about them' -- it's a positive something that you just can't put your finger on. This is how I felt every time I saw Jr.

Knowing that tomorrow isn't promised, we should spend more time doing or saying things that will uplift, inspire, motivate and encourage others whether we know them personally or not.

May God continue to comfort both families and may Jr. and Cheryl be at rest in heaven with the Father.

I usually don't get excited about movies, but . . .

I am very excited about 'The Gospel'. This movie is supposed to be in theaters in October of this year. I don't know about anyone else but I would love to see more faith-based movies in theaters. (I took the kids to see Fantastic Four a few weeks ago and I was surprised that I actually enjoyed it.) I'm not into the horror or sci-fi movies and I am sick of movies that could have been worth watching if the majority of the language spoken wasn't vulgar. I guess the producers are only catering to what the 'majority' of the public wants. I guess that means I am not the majority.

Anyway, check out the above link. There are some great actors & actresses starring in the movie (as well as some great gospel singers -- yes, my favorite {Fred Hammond} is one of those singers and I can honestly say that I would still go see the movie even if he wasn't).

Just Rambling . . .

Starting with this past Friday -- I had a good weekend. It rained some but it wasn't too bad. Friday evening a few people from my single parents small group met at a local bowling alley to do a little bowling. No professionals in the group -- which made it even more entertaining. We had a lane for the kids (my daughter won -- YEAH!!) and a lane for the adults. There were 3 kids bowling and 4 adults. I didn't win but I wasn't last either. Two other newcomers showed up but didn't bowl. They wanted to meet the other ladies in the group. We had a really nice time.

Bright and verrrrry early on Saturday morning the kids and I attended a Single Parent-Kid Weekend conference at a nearby church. The kids had a great time. The parents and kids had different sessions where we listened to various speakers. My favorite was Rev. Marilyn Giles. This lady was fantastic and was a single parent herself (she has 3 adult sons). We left the conference a little early (about 1:30 p.m. -- it was over around 3:30 p.m.). We went grabbed a bite to eat, went home and slept for at least 2 hours -- I know I did. I was b-e-a-t. I guess staying up late Friday night and getting up early Saturday morning had caught up with me.

We went to church Sunday evening and then went to Chili's afterwards. The rest of the day I sort of lounged around, nothing exciting. The kids played outside and I shampooed my hair and set it in rollers so that I could have the curly look again. I had just styled my hair several days ago but the salsa class that I took on Thursday had me curls looking a bit limp. I received a shocking phone call from my ex saying that he would take the kids shopping for school supplies the following day!! I was truly stunned. Well, Monday came -- I dropped the kids off at his apartment, went to work and picked them up later that evening. HE CAME THROUGH!! Praise God. This really helps me out a lot. He even bought our daughter a backpack (my son didn't get one because he said that I was buying his -- one that he saw at a department store that costs no less than $25.00 -- I don't think so). I'll probably end up having to buy him one but I don't mind. At least their father bought the bulk of what they needed.

So here it is on a rainy Tuesday and I am at work -- busy as ever. My intentions are to attend the salsa class this evening at 6:15 p.m. I felt so good after last weeks class. The sad thing is -- I just know that my curls are not going to hold up. But it's for a good cause :).

God Knows What's Best

Well, I have come to my own conclusion that I will not be offered the job that I interviewed for several weeks ago (due to the fact that I have not heard from them). Of course I'm disappointed but. . . . I'm trying to look at things in a different light.

For starters, from the interview it seemed rather obvious that this position would require some overtime. There is no way that a new-hire could walk in the door and expect to receive flexibility when it comes to the work schedule, especially if there is a large amount of work to be done and new sofware applications to be learned. With me about to start school in a couple of weeks, I will need some flexibility on certain days. I am busy at my present job but I still have the option to study during my lunch hour without any problems from management.

So yes, I'm disappointed but not depressed. On the brighter side, I have a job that allows me to take care of things during working hours when needed without any problems. My job is more lenient than most. Not to mention that they supply beverages (including bottled water) and snacks -- more recently healthy snacks have been provided.

There is a reason that I am still at my place of employment. It may not be totally clear to me but I know that God knows what's best for me -- even when I don't. I will continue to be thankful for the job that I have and allow God to direct me. This way, there's no way I can go wrong.

Feelin' Good

I had been anticipating yesterday evening at 7:30 p.m. for over a week now. I am a lover of music, but my favorite is gospel. I loooooove me some gospel music. I believe that there are gospel singers out there who are truly anointed. These are people who send chills through your body at the sound of their voice. I don't idolize these singers but I do believe that they are gifted and have the ability to minister to the hearts of others through song.

Where am I going with this -- I'll tell you where, in two words. . . . . Fred Hammond. That's right, Fred Hammond performed (for free) yesterday evening at a church in Arlington, TX. The church is having a week-long conference and will have different speakers & entertainers each night. I'm ashamed to admit that I cannot remember the speaker's name from last night but he delivered a powerful message. His message was 'Don't Give Up'. No matter what you're going through -- don't give up. In spite of your circumstances, your surroundings, the people who are hindering you from fulfilling your purpose -- don't give up. I'd say he spoke for about 20 to 30 minutes. After that, we experienced the radical praise of one of gospel music's most talented singers (which I am certain is the reason that the overflow area was filled with about 500 people). I am glad to say that I pre-registered early (for myself and a friend) and was able to be seated in the sanctuary.

My kids said that they enjoyed it -- I know I did. I think I sang harder than Fred :). I left feeling pumped! So pumped that I had to call a few friends and family to tell them how much we enjoyed it.

It's amazing how God can use people to touch the lives of others when you decide to step out on faith and go along with the plan that he has laid out for you. We all have talents -- it may not be singing -- but there is something that is embedded in each one of us that God would just love to use to build his kingdom. We just need to trust him and start living our lives to please him and not ourselves or others. It means that we need to pay attention to what he is showing or telling us. When we receive those warning signs, take heed -- just like you would at a traffic light. Stop when he says stop, go when he says go and yield when he says yield.

I was deeply touched last night, not just by the voice of Fred Hammond -- which is honestly the only reason I went, but by the word that was delivered in such a powerful way by the guest speaker. I just wish I could remember his name.

Trying Something New

I left work yesterday and before I made it home I had already come to the conclusion that I would not be going to the gym. I don't know if it's the 23 mile commute (one way), the heat or a combination of both. By the time that I pick up my children from their father's place I am beat. I have to make myself attempt to listen to everything that my kids have to say (when I honestly don't want to talk or hear anyone else talk).

I got home, took a shower and sat in my bed with pillows stacked behind me. I started to read a bit of 'Breaking Free', a book that I just bought, but quickly became sleepy so I put it down. I called a friend that I was supposed to meet at the gym and told her that I wasn't going to make it. She didn't try to make me feel guilty or anything, which was very much appreciated. I sat in bed for a few more minutes and then -- out the blue -- I get the urge to get up, get my work-out clothes on and head to the gym?! O.k., so I was puzzled by the sudden change of heart, but, I'm glad that something stirred me to get up.

There was a salsa class that started at 6:15 p.m. and I ended up being about 15 minutes late. I stood in the doorway for a minute watching everyone to see if I could easily catch on. I felt pretty good about it so I quickly walked across the back of the room, put my towel, bottle of water and car key on the floor and took my place behind my friend. This was my first time taking a salsa dance fitness class and I loved it! I worked up a good sweat for about 30 minutes. The last 15 minutes of the class we did ab exercises (which I really needed to do). It was tooouuuuggghh! I felt so much better after class. I worked out a bit on my upper body before leaving. I will keep attending this class before I get brave and take the step aerobics class. I've taken step aerobics before but this particular instructor is tough -- I'm talking military boot camp tough. I took her class one time last year and I never went back. One thing is certain, I will definitely get in shape if I attend her classes. For now, I'll stick with the salsa class :).

No Pain -- No Gain

Well, I'm feeling the pain from my workout yesterday. I met one of the ladies in my small group at they gym yesterday around 6 p.m. She went to a step aerobics class and I spent 30 minutes on a treadmill and then spent another 30 minutes working out with weights on my legs. My legs are not as sore as they could be but they're sore enough. I did crunches on one of the benches they have that works the abdominals.

I'll be going to the gym again today around 6:15 p.m. I'll be in the salsa class that they have on Tuesday's & Thursday's. Wednesday is church night which means that I won't be able to work out on this day, but, I'll try to get in at least 4 days per week of exercise. I bought some running shoes on Sunday and I am good to go! I hope that I am still this 'pumped up' about working out in another - say, 3 or 4 weeks. If the gym's scale is correct -- I'm around 145 - 146 lbs.!!!!! I AM NOT going out like that. Drastic times call for drastic measures. I have uped my workout days per week to a minimum of 5 (instead of 4). Let's see if I can remain determined & disciplined. (To be honest with you, I really don't think that the scale was calibrated properly -- but, that's just my opinion.)

Weekends Like This

I just love it when things go well. I had mixed emotions; excited, nervous and feeling a bit doubtful about agreeing to become a facilitator (group leader) for a single parents small group. Our first meeting was this past Friday evening. I am pleased to say that it went extreeeeeeemely well! I was so excited after the meeting was over. Let me tell you, when it is meant for you to be in a certain position God will make it crystal clear to you. My doubts have been replaced by encouragement & determination.

The meeting, actually more of a meet & greet session, started around 7:30 p.m. There were 6 ladies present in addition to myself. We started off with an ice breaker and after an opening prayer we began to vote on one book (from a selection of 5) that the group would read and discuss at future monthly meetings. We decided on Breaking Free by Beth Moore. We also agreed upon set days/time for future meetings as well. Our 2nd meeting will be a social activity and will take place 2 weeks from our first meeting. We decided to meet up at a bowling alley that is pretty close to all of us. Things went soooo smoothly. After the meeting a few ladies stayed longer and we munched on nachos and finger foods that I had prepared. The following morning I had to attend a facilitator's meeting and ended up speaking about the outcome of my meeting. At the end of this meeting three more ladies were added to my group. At this point, my group is full and I cannot accept more members. This is so amazing. I am just thankful that God can use me to encourage, empower, motivate, and uplift other women.

We are not about coming together specifically to talk about bad relationships and/or to bash the father's of our children. The purpose of this group is to provide a connection for women who have experienced similar life situations (such as single parenthood). It's about women who didn't choose to be single parents but who are still shouldering that burden while striving to be Christ-like and raise Godly children. It's about women who seek spiritual growth and peace in their lives. It's about women who, regardless of what happened in their past, can still find something to praise God for. It's about women who have goals and want to help others reach theirs. It's about women who at times may need a shoulder to cry on and at other times are willing to offer theirs. After one meeting, I truly believe that we have 'connected'. I know that our children certainly did. The other kids did not want to leave and were already planning for future sleep-overs.

God has been doing some things in my life. Some good and some not so good. Some are causing me to move beyond the boundaries of what I know is comfortable. Other things are causing me to take a closer look at how I am living my life and the decisions that I have made thus far. I am learning to see the 'not so good' situations as stepping that are preparing me for the next level that God is taking me too. These situations are just 'fine-tuning' me so that I will be equipped & ready.

I had to speak in front of a small group on Saturday morning and it wasn't too bad (about 20 people). The more I do it, the easier it will become. The efforts of evangelizing about salvation at a local park a week ago has been fruitful. I had mentioned in a previous post about 2 young men that we spoke to who stayed true to their word and visited our church the following day. Well, I actually was able to greet them yesterday at our 11 a.m. service (their 2nd visit). They had come to one of the classrooms after church service where singles could get connected with small groups and learn about upcoming activities.

I had more to share about this weekend but I'm getting a little tired of typing. I met a very interesting person yesterday at a dinner that I was invited to. I'll have to share that story in another post.

Stepping Outside My Comfort Zone

That's exactly what I did this past weekend. Saturday to be exact. The singles ministry at church met Saturday morning to share the word of Christ with others. We had groups that were going to 4 different venues: a senior living center, door-to-door, the mall and a local park. I was with a group that went to the park.

I was hesitant about going but a girlfriend called me bright and earlier and talked me into not backing out. I was very nervous, being that this was my first time speaking to others that I didn't know about salvation. I was with a great group of ladies & one man. Our approach was to get people to come to an area where we were seated to participate in a "game show". We even had prizes (bibles). We would ask the 'contestants' a few bible related questions and the one who answered the most questions would receive a bible. This was a way of approaching them in a non-threatening way and to 'break the ice'. Some people were very willing, others were at the park strictly to exercise (which is understandable).

The first two people that we met were a young man about 19 years old who had just been released from jail the previous day. The other man was like a resident assistant at the transitional living home that the young man had been released two. These 2 mean had only known each other one day. We talked to them for a little while after the 'game show' and they allowed us to pray for them. They filled out information cards so that someone within the ministry would keep in touch with them and they told us that they would try to visit our church the following day.

Guess what!!!! They were at church during the service I attended. I was so touched. We talked to many other people during our time at the park but there was something about these 2 men that just kept them on my mind throughout the remainder of the day. This was a sure sign that we touched at least 2 lives yesterday. I am so glad that I decided to step out on faith and not worry about what to say or how people would respond to us. This is something that I am looking forward to doing again.

Touching the lives of others in a positive way is my idea of success. It's not about wealth, level of education or my job title. When I die, I want to be remembered for changing someone's life for the better. I want people to remember me by the good that I have unselfishly done for others and the encouraging words that I may have spoken.

That -- to me -- is true success.

Cruisin' in '06

Yeah, that's right. Moi, is planning a cruise for June of 2006. I'm already excited and we've still got almost a year to go (there's nothing like planning as far ahead as possible). I am requesting that everyone going have their deposit to me by the end of August. That shouldn't be a burden on anyone seeing that the deposit will only be $25 per person (there will be 2 to a cabin).

So far, we have 15 people including myself that are planning on going. We will be taking a 4 day cruise from Galveston to Cozumel. I vote for driving to Galveston. Whoever wants to fly will need to make their own flight arrangements. I spoke to the travel agent this morning and she will be sending an e-mail with more detailed information. We're not hating on the men but this will be a 'ladies only' cruise. Hey, I'm single so it really isn't a big issue for me :). As much fun as we had in Vegas with 6 women, this will definitely be a blast. I have to make sure that I hit the gym on a regular basis because I will be spending alot of time at the pool. I will be on the lookout for a tight (tight meaning 'nice') bathing suit (boy leg bottoms, tankini top). I've had to back out of one cruise (and lost money on it) but I have no, I said no intentions of backing out of this one. Any issues headed my way - please take place before or after the month of June.

Oh yeah, I've got it alllllll figured out!

There is a bright side. . .

that doesn't mean that I still can't be frustrated. I filled out an application to receive a grant that would pay for my books during the 2nd summer session. I received a phone call from the grant coordinator requesting more information from me, which I faxed to her the same day. I paid my tuition on July 6th and began to wonder why I hadn't heard anything regarding the grant. I call the grant coordinator only to learn that she is out of the office until Monday (the day classes start). I was given another number to call and reached that person this morning.

I was NOT awarded the grant because I did not pay my tuition before the June 30th deadline! I of course ask, "what June 10th deadline"? The person on the other end of the phones responds, "the deadline that is shown on your application". I responded that I must have missed that additional bit of information (as I hurriedly look through my file for my copy of the application). Glancing over it I noticed that there is no deadline on the application. The woman assisting me was looking over her copy of the application as well and came to the same conclusion - there was no deadline noted on the application. All she could do was say that she would make sure the deadline is placed on future applications. What good is that going to do me!? I have to cancel a class and wait 5 to 6 weeks to be reimbursed. Thank God I followed up before Monday. I would only receive 70% of what I paid if I had waited until next week.

O.k., now for the bright side of things. I now have the remainder of the summer to focus on the ministries that I have volunteered for. I have a training class this Saturday for Single Parent Small Group Facilitators (bi-weekly meetings will start the end of July). I am still waiting to be contacted for an interview for the Family Care Pregnancy Center that is scheduled to open September 1st. There will be a 13 week training class for this outreach program in addition to another special class that I have to take. Also, the time that I would have used to study will now be spent being entertained by/watching movies with/loving up my kids.

Isn't life grand :) .

I'm invited to a what???

A pleasure party. That's what was sent to me via e-mail yesterday. It's funny that the person sending the e-mail first apologized and then stated that she hoped I wasn't offended by the invitation (if she thought I'd be offended, why send it).?

I'm a little slow when it comes to some of the more worldly sources of entertainment, so, I went to the internet to get a clearer understanding of just what a 'pleasure' party is. Yes, I am a God-fearing woman and try to live my life in a way that glorifies God and not the things of this world. I am by no means perfect, my conversation is not limited to bible verses, I have sinned and will continue to sin (not without remorse). However, the thought of a room full of people (whether all women or a mixture of men & women) experimenting with 'toys' and other adult paraphernalia does not bring about a sense of pleasure -- for me. It's obvious from the number of hits I received when performing a search on the words that there are many people who have no qualms about these types of parties (which is their choice).

I guess I'm different -- in alot of ways, which I realized at an early age. Not to mention that others have confirmed this to me on occasion. I don't mind being different, I'm just being me. I'm not the type of person who trys to 'fit in' with any particular group of people. I've never felt the need to go against what I believe just to persuade others to like me or want to socialize with me. There are a very few people that I consider true friends, both male & female, and I'm happy with that. I welcome the friendship of others who I may cross paths with in the future.

I love to have a good time and there are many things that bring me pleasure, attending a pleasure party is not one of them.

Strong Girlfriends

Someone will always be prettier. They will always be smarter. Their house will be bigger. They will drive a better car. Their children will do better in school and their husband will fix more things around the house.

So let it go, and love you and your circumstances. Think about it. The prettiest woman in the world can have hell in her heart and the most highly favored woman on your job may be unable to have children. And the richest woman you know, she's got the car, the house, the
clothes....might be lonely. And the word says if "I have not Love, I am nothing."

So, again, love you. Love who you are, look in the mirror in the morning and smile and say, "I am too blessed to be stressed and too anointed to be disappointed!"

"Winners make things happen. Losers let things happen."

"To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world".

Hoping . . .

that I get this job position that I interviewed for yesterday afternoon. It's for an admin position that will support a Sr. Manager and 4 consultants. I interviewed with everyone except the Sr. Mgr. Everyone seemed so friendly and energetic. There was 3 women and one man. The man seemed a bit more serious/less energetic than the women. I was there for about an hour and 45 minutes. I stressed myself out over the weekend running around trying to find a suit and shoes to wear for the interview. I bought something that I didn't end up wearing (what a waste). I think the interviews went really well. This is definitely a position that I would like to have. I was told that they would be making a decision within the next 3 weeks. So, Lord please -- if it's for me, let it be.

I'm also looking forward to a nice loooooooong weekend! I have Monday and Tuesday of next week off for the 4th of July holiday. The kids I will once again be rolling North to Oklahoma to celebrate my grandmother's 80th birthday. We may come back to Dallas on Sunday, I haven't decided yet. If so, I'll be hanging with one of my girlfriends and her family (who I always enjoy spending time with). Hopfully gas will drop by Saturday morning -- at least enough so that a full tank won't cost over $30 bucks (hey -- it would be nice).

An Early Start

I was up at 6 a.m. this morning so that I could make it to my hair stylist's home by 7 a.m. (What I'm still doing up at 11:21 p.m. is puzzling even to me.) I woke the kids, had them get dressed, made sure the dog was fed and we were out of the house by 6:40 a.m. I made a quick stop at McDonald's (drive-thru of course) to get breakfast for my kids and we made it to my stylist's home no more than 10 minutes past 7. She is really a great stylist. There have been 2 occasions (including this one) where I wasn't very pleased with my hair. A friend of mine goes to her as well and I have never seen a style on her that I didn't like. I needed a relaxer and told her that I wanted to wear my hair straight with no part and off of my face. She styled it the way I asked but for some reason, it didn't turn out the way that I had invisioned beforehand. I can only think of one stylist that I have ever gone to over the years where I never left dissatisfied.

I think for the money that I spend my hair should look like it was professionally styled. My son even questioned the style :( (in all honesty, I believe he felt that this was something that looked as if I had done it myself). Don't get me wrong, I do a good job styling my own hair, but, I'd rather be pampered and have a professional style it. When you pay to have your hair professionally styled, in my opinion, it should be obvious. I don't mean to put my stylist down but I'm on a budget and I can't afford to pay to have my hair styled and then go home and try to make it look better. What's puzzling is that it looked good when I looked in the mirror at her home. It wasn't until I made it to my car and looked in the mirror as I was driving before I first noticed how dry my hair looked. I would keep driving a short distance and then pull down the visor to check myself out in the mirror. I then realized that it really didn't look like my hair had been professionally styled (I was truly disappointed). She is such a wonderful, kind-hearted person and I know that she is very good at what she does. Maybe this was just a bad morning for her. I'll go again and make sure I look at my hair thoroughly before I walk out her door.

I'm about to call it a night after I wrap my hair and tie it up in a bandana (Aunt Jemima style!).

Reaching Out

My friend made it to Dallas Sunday night and started her new job on Monday. She will be living with me until she is able to get her own place. Her daughter will not be coming until next week. Even though I have children, I'm not the type of person who loves to be around kids alot (not that I don't like them). Her daughter is an exception. She stayed with us for 2 days last week and she was never a problem. This is one child that I wouldn't mind babysitting at any time.

I remember when I had to live with someone during my divorce. It was the hardest thing for me (being so independent). I never want to be a burden on others. My friend is pretty much like me. I have made my home available to her on weekends when she plans on attending church (since it's an hour and a half drive each way). She has stayed on a few occasions but it was obvious that she didn't want to be a burden. I want to make sure that she feels welcome and is under no pressure to immediately find a place. It is clear that she is not a "user" and doesn't take advantage of other's kindness.

There are some (who I know oh too well) who think that this world owes them something. They will ride the backs of others until they break them down. My friend does not fit this category. I'm just glad to have the opportunity to help out someone who is truly trying to make a better life for themselves (and their child).

Going Through The Motions

That's pretty much how things are at my job. I am no longer content, let alone happy at my place of employment. There are a number of reasons for my discontentment, which I don't even have the energy name. The bottom line is -- I have got to move on to something else. You know it's bad when you have to pray to maintain a positive attitude and refrain from getting easily frustrated with those you communicate with.

The atmosphere seems much different from when I first started. I've only noticed this within the past several months. It's highly possible that the change in atmosphere took place earlier than I thought but I'm just now noticing it. I've been around people who constantly complain about their jobs but they don't do anything to improve their situation, whether it be speaking to their manager about their concerns or finding other employment. I will not be one of those people. It does me no good to spend at least 8 hours a day, 5 days a week in an environment that depresses me or leads to nowhere but a dead end.

I haven't felt this way in a loooooong time. I'll keep on doing my job to the best of my ability, while keeping my eyes open for other opportunities.

A Dreaded Trip

I am so not looking forward to heading back to Oklahoma tomorrow. A cousin of mine died last week and the funeral is being held tomorrow afternoon.

It is such a sad situation. This woman is a mother of 10 children (they are all adults now -- ranging from mid-40's to lower 20's). She was a christian woman who led somewhat of a hard life during her younger years. My grandmother ended up raising her after a certain poing (my grandmother's sister was somewhat of a party person who didn't do well taking care of her kids). My cousin took care of her children but there was quite a bit of dysfunction in their household due to the man she married (thank God she got out of that horrible marriage). I remember my younger sister and I visiting them a few summers when school was out. They didn't have the largest or fanciest house and were not considered well-off financially, but we had a wonderful time. We would go to church with them (they were of the Holyness faith) and the services were much different than those of our Baptist church. In addition to the adults, you had kids singing, shouting and playing the tamborine like they received formal training.

About 2 months ago a cousin called to tell me that this particular cousin was sick, to the point where she couldn't walk or use her hands. It was finally determined that she had muscular dystrophy. No one said anything about it being life threatening. She was either in the hospital or a nursing home in Missouri where she was living. The last thing I had heard about her was that a few of her children were working on moving her back to Oklahoma so that they could take care of her. I received a phone call from my oldest sister last Thursday informing me that she had died.

My heart is aching. I truly dread going tomorrow but I wouldn't want to not go. It's sad whenever someone you love dies, but for me, when it's a mother (regardless of the children's ages) it causes my own pain of losing my mother to intensify. I pray that her children will find peace and comfort in knowing that she is no longer suffering and is in a much better place.

Fun At Six Flags

This past weekend was great!! We went to Six Flags on Saturday. We planned on getting there around 10:30 a.m. (made it around noon). As soon as we arrived we headed to the picnic pavilion area so that we could eat lunch (which was included in the ticket price). It wasn't bad at all. After that, we headed to the rides.

We rode the train that took you around the perimeter of the amusement park. We let the kids drive the antique cars -- which they loved! We also went on some boat ride that took you through an underground cave and had the various cartoon characters; bugs bunny, Wyle E. Coyote, Speedy Gonzales, Porky Pig, Yosemite Sam and a few others. We ran into other friends and I parted with them to ride the 'adult' rides while another friend took the kids to Looney Tune Land (ie. she had no intentions of riding anything that would even come close to having you let out a little whimper).

Me, feeling adventerous, decided to ride the Superman ride. I had never seen or heard of it before this past weekend. Me and my girlfriend are standing in line and I start to feel a bit nervous as I watch the continuous flow of people get on & off the ride. When our time came my heart was seriously fluttering. I had changed my mind at this point but I was already in the seat. The ride starts, it takes us up -- just a tad bit -- then whooooooooooooooosh!!!! We are like hundreds of feet in the air within about 5 or 6 seconds!!!! I am screeeeeeeeming my head off! My eyes are closed for fear of having a heart attack if I was completely aware of my surroundings. After that initial shock -- the ride then slowly lowers us and raises us again -- still somewhat slow. Then, it happens again -- whoooooooooooosh!!! We are shooting up in the air again like a rocket on the 4th of July!!! I'm screaming my head off -- again!! I'm just praying for this ride to be over and I promise myself that I will never, I repeat never, get on it again. The ride is over, I'm looking at my friend who is laughing at me (she tried to get me to open my eyes during the ride but I refused). I tell both her and the man to my that they are nuts!! This wasn't their first time on the ride.

After that, I didn't feel like being to daring anymore. There were a few roller coasters that I wanted to ride but I didn't have anyone to ride with (my friend who rode the Superman with me decided to ride the Batman ride with her cousin -- I wasn't having it -- it looked just as darying as the Superman ride). So we watched the kids ride a few more rides, grabbed funnel cakes on our way out and headed home.

An exciting but tiring day. I hope that the church picnic is held there again next year.

Nothing in particular

I've got lots of things on my mind (as always). Sometimes I feel is if my brain is in overdrive. I am always thinking about one thing or another. It amazes me when I ask someone what's on their mind and they respond with "nothing". I am truely puzzled. Am I that different or could it possibly be that the person doesn't want to share what's on their mind at the time? I've even asked that question, being that I'm so inquisitive. They've still stuck with their initial response that they have nothing on their mind.

On a different note -- I bought tickets to Six Flags yesterday for the church's annual picnic. Three tickets for $50 includes parking and food -- you can't beat it. I didn't take the kids last year so I decided to make sure we went this time (at the coersion of a few friends). I am soooo excited! I haven't been to Six Flags in about 10 years. The last time I went my son was in a stroller -- now that's been a real long time. The kids are excited too. Just about everyone that was in my Spiritual Growth class at church are going. We really have made it a point to stay in touch with each other, even though we finished the class over a year ago. Actually, one of the ladies that I met in the class wanted to keep my kids overnight. She followed me home from church last night so that I could pack their bags and get their swimming gear (she has a son about the same age as mine). She's planning on taking them to the movies as well. This will be the second time that they've spent the night with her (and they love it). My daughter called last night around 10ish to tell me goodnight. I thought that was soooo sweet!

Another lady who was in the class and who drove about an hour and a half one way to church has told me that she is moving to the DFW area. I'm glad about that as well. We have so much in common. We are both divorced and are parents (she only has 1 child though). We are about the same age (no more than a year apart). The biggest similarity is --- we have the same last name! Imagine that, and it's both our married names. Not sure if our in-laws are related or not. She is a remarkable woman. One other person in our group is like a sister to me. It's like me & my kids are a part of her family. Her family includes us in every gathering that they have. I just love being around family and she and her family has made Dallas even more like home to me, since I have no family here.

I guess I'll mention one other person that has impacted my life. That is the only man that was in the group (aside from the Facilitator). We have been seeing each other off & on for over a year. I don't know what life has in store for us but from observing our past, it is quite obvious that it is not easy for either of us to stay away from one another. We have our differences but overall I really enjoy spending time with him. I don't mention him much but I tend to be a rather private person. I've always been one to keep alot of things to myself. Only lately have I come to a point in my life where I can share my most personal thoughts/feelings with someone else. You better believe that the person who I confide in has got to be the truest of all true friends :). I will continue to be prayerful about this particular relationship. He has made it clear that he wants to be married and he would like at least one child (o.k. I'll take it a step further - he has specifically aske me if I wanted to have more children and has asked me many marriage related questions). I do not want to do anything that is not part of God's plan for me (as I've done in the past). I do not want to go through what I did in my previous marriage. I would rather be single & content than to be married and miserable. Yes, I am very much in love but often times it's not good to make decisions based solely on how our heart feels.

Now, back to Six Flags. My reason for looking forward to going to Six Flags is because I'll be hanging with people who mean the world to me, even though I've only known them a little over a year.

Final thoughts -- Yesterday I received a call from the Jeep dealership telling me that my license plates were in. I'll stop by after work on my way to pick up my children. With the kids gone, I was able to hang/fold alot of clothes last night that I had washed days ago. It seems like I don't have enough time to do everything that needs to be done. My son and I mowed the lawn Friday before going out of town. On Monday, it didn't even look like it had just been mowed. I guess we'll be working in the yard later today, if it doesn't rain.

Enjoyable, but tiring

That is how my Memorial Day weekend was. I drove to Oklahoma eaaaaarly Saturday morning (about 6:30 am). Traffic was not bad at all. I was able to maintain speeds from about 75 to 80 mph. Anything over that was a little too risky (being a holiday weekend, the State Troopers were out in full force). The last thing I need right now is a traffic ticket.

Once my feet hit the red dirt I was constantly on the go. I was back and forth from my grandmother's home to my youngest sister's and the 2nd oldest sister's homes. We had a big fish fry outdoors on Saturday evening that lastest well into the night. There's nothing like family gatherings under a big shade tree (while swatting flies). My uncle had this large outdoor gas stovetop looking thing. It was shaped like a square table. The top was like a stove top but bigger with 4 burners. He hooked up a butane tank, pulled out this huge cast iron skillet and the fish fry was on!! We had french fries, catfish & hushpuppies. I hate being so finicky when it comes to food. The catfish tasted a bit too fishy to me so I feasted on fries & hushpuppies -- hey, it was still good.

Sunday evening we grilled at my 2nd oldest sister's house. We had pork chops, baked beans, hot dogs, hamburgers & baked beans. We sat outside under her carport while the kids played outside. When it became dark, the kids relocated to her living room to watch movies. We coerced my nephew and a female friend of his to sing a few songs for us. These youngsters can really sing! One of the songs they sang seriously brought tears to my eyes. I can't really hang like my sisters so I ended up calling it a night about 11:30 p.m. and headed back to my grandmothers. There's no telling what time they finally shut it down.

Monday morning we went to the cemetary and put flowers on the graves of my mother and other family members. I will never forget my loved ones but visiting the cemetary is something that I can really do without. To be honest, I think I do it because it's expected -- not that the deceased can see you or are aware that you stopped by. I believe the most important thing is the relationship that you had with that person while they were still living.

We headed back to Dallas Monday evening around 4:30 p.m. We came across some type of checkpoint on one of the back roads that I take to get to I35. The State Troopers were checking for drivers licenses and proof of insurance. I had my license but no insurance card (since I had just purchased my SUV 4 days before). He looked at my license and said that he believed that I had insurance and let me continue my journey. Everything was going well until I came within about 20 miles North of the Red River. The freeway was reduced to one lane and traffic was HORRIBLE!!! On top of that, my daughter was having trouble breathing due to her asthma. She was in the back seat crying and I was trying to console her and tell her that we would be home soon. She finally went to sleep and after about 45 additional minutes later, we crossed the Red River. I took my chance and drove well over the speed limit. My baby was sick, she didn't have her enhaler or pills and I needed to get her home so that she could take a breathing treatment. We made it home around 8:45 p.m. I hooked up my daughter's machine, put the medicine in, put the mask on her face and flipped the power switch. About 15 minutes later she was moving around and starting to feel much better.

As I turned off all the lights, made sure the doors were locked and turned the alarm on before I climbed into bed, I began to regret that I didn't schedule a vacation day for Tuesday.

Me & My New SUV

No, it's not the BMW X5 that just makes my heart melt when I see or think about it. But it's mine and is financed in my name. The car I've been driving for about 3 1/2 years was in a friend's name (long story that I really don't feel like getting into). After I purchased my house in 2003 she started asking me about getting the car in my own name. I had drawn up a contract that we both signed and I had it notarized when I agreed to take over the payments for her. The agreement was that I would pay on the car until it was paid in full.

Well, towards the end of last year she started asking me again about getting the car out of her name. I could see that this was going to be a problem. I had always made the payments on time and have taken good care of the car (o.k., maybe I shouldn't go as long as I've been known to between oil changes). I attempted to purchase a Jeep Liberty in January of this year but the payments would have been more than I felt I could comfortably afford so I did not purchase it.

I get an e-mail on Tuesday from a dealership that I had e-mailed earlier this year when I was seriously considering buying a new vehicle. The e-mail from the Internet Sales Manager stated that they were having a Memorial Day Sale and would have big deals on their vehicles. We exchanged a few e-mails and I eventually went to the dealership that evening. Over the course of the next 2 days I was totally stressed out. One minute he is certain he can get me into a Liberty regardless of my situation (car not in my name, upside down on car, almost no money down, not enough credit since my bankruptcy). Yeah, I know my situation was a bit challenging but the way I feel regardless of a person's situation is -- either you can or you can't make a deal. Don't string a person along. Don't act like you're having to walk over hot coals to get a person financed. Well, after what felt like a see-saw ride (up & down -- one minute everything looks good, the next minute, there's an issue with this or that) I received a call Thursday afternoon from the salesman saying that everything looked great and the paperwork would be ready for me to sign when I arrived. The only thing they needed from my friend was for her to sign a Power of Attorney form.

I am continuing to re-establish my credit since my divorce. Apparently, owning a home is not enough (I've heard this more than once). The salesman actually said that it's easier to purchase a home than a car due to the fact that you can't hide a house. In spite of the stressful state I was in this past 2 1/2 days -- I am overall pleased with Preston Chrysler Jeep and I am loving my '05 white Liberty Sport. It doesn't have all the fancy upgrades but I'm pleased with the standard options. I'll be hitting the highway headed North to Oklahoma this weekend and for once this will be a drive that I'm looking forward to.

As they get older, I will make it a point to drill into my children's heads the importance of good credit.

2 more days. . .

until my son graduates from 4th grade! I'm getting a little excited. The only thing I don't like is that he and his sister will be attending 2 different schools. My daughter is somewhat clingy. They argue over the most stupidest things but, they miss each other when they're apart.

We had a busy evening yesterday. I took my son to get his hair cut. Next we went to Burlington's to find him a nice suit (his idea). Since he's outgrown all the others I felt that he needed to have at least 1 suit hanging in his closet (that he can still wear). It looks really nice on him. I'll need to take the pants somewhere this evening to be altered -- they're about 3 inches too long. It's amazing how fast children grow up. An important reason why parents should spend as much quality time with them as possible. I know for single parents its not always that easy, but at least 15 to 20 minutes here and there will create positive, lasting memories for them.

For example: I woke up early last weekend and began washing my car around 8 a.m. As I walked in the garage and hit the button to let the garage door up I saw a sudden flash of movement. I automatically yelled for my son. It was a small, very light colored lizard -- ewwwww!! I felt bad afterwards for waking him up & told him so. He said it was okay and chose to stay outside with me to help wash the car (even after I told him he could go back to bed). My daughter was still in bed -- getting her beauty rest of course! This wasn't a big event but it resulted in bonding time for us.

Thursday morning at 9 a.m. my little man will be walking across a stage to accept his diploma. I hope that he will mature and become more responsible for his actions as he grows older and understand that for everything that a person does in life, there are consequences to be faced. I pray that he will choose the path less traveled and live for God and not the momentary pleasures of this world.

Just thinking . . .

I had a nice weekend. The weather was extremely hot (99 degrees on Saturday, 98 on Sunday). I attended a singles function referred to as 'Friday Nite Live'. It was great. There was a speaker from a nearby church, praise & worship singers and members of a drama team performed a skit. This is the 3rd event that's been held (I missed the first 2). They are held on the 3rd Friday of each month. The best part for me is -- child care is provided. Afterwards they serve a light meal with refreshments. It's a great opportunity to meet others (being that the church has such a large congregation).


Quote for the day. . .
Small Minds talk about People.
Average Minds talk about Events.
Great Minds talk about Ideas.

Which category do you fall under?

I love to walk. . . but not this much

My day was off to a good start yesterday. I decided on my drive home from work that I would skip my class at church since I hadn't purchased the book we were supposed to read. Even if I would have stopped to buy it on my way home, I wouldn't have gotten to read the chapter that was assigned to my group. The class starts at 6:15 pm., I usually make it home between 5:15 and 5:30. I decide to go to the park so that I can walk around the trail there. The kids and I get there maybe around 6:30ish. I put my purse on the floor of the back seat, I place the car keys under the armrest, open my door, lock the doors and then close my door. Everything is going great. I stretch a little and start my fast pace walk. After a while my daughter joins me. She takes a break every now and then as I continue my 8 lap walk.

We start to leave and approach the car. I soon realized that I HAVE LOCKED MY KEYS AND MY CELL PHONE IN THE CAR! This is NOT happening to me. I had told my son to grab his keys because they can hook onto his belt loop and I wouldn't have to worry about carrying my keys or tying a key on my shoelace. What I didn't stop to realize was that the key that he has is the HOUSE key! On the brighter side of things, at least I had him bring it. It would have been much worse if we were locked out of the car and our home.

So I'm standing there, just dumbounded (o.k. and pissed off too). I'm trying to think how to get in the car (without breaking a window). I pull on the door handles -- yeah right, as if they're really going to unlock on their own. Then we did what I was dreading -- we walked home (another 2 miles in addition to the 2 that I had just walked). My poor daughter was tired. I had to carry her on my back several times. My son was a true hero. He handled it just like a man :). No whining or pouting from my big boy.

Well, we made it home and I called a friend. She called her brother (who works for the cellular company that I have service with) to get a number for roadside assistance. We're talking to one of the reps and I make it a point to tell her that my cell phone is locked inside my car and I am unable to be reached at that number. I give her my girlfriend's cell phone number as a contact. She said that someone would be there to assist me anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour and to make sure that I was with the car when they arrived (not a problem). Me and my darling children leave our home going back to the park (another 2 miles). This time I got the bright idea to let them ride their bikes so that it won't be as tiring for them (good thinking, VERY good thinking). So off we go, mama walking and the kids riding. Just to make sure that I don't miss them I tried to jog more than walk. We get to the car I'd say about 8 p.m. or a few minutes before. We wait, and wait, and wait, and wait. Soon, it's dark and the street lights are on. O.k., I am extremely pissed now. My kids are tired & hungry. Luckily there was a water fountain at the park that I let them drink from (only under these circumstances -- otherwise they would have had to wait until we made it home or went by a store to buy bottled water).

I get tired of waiting and we leave the park to go back home (another 2 miles). The kids riding their bikes and mama walking & jogging behind (much more jogging now). We decide to go a different route this time due to the large rottweiler that we had passed twice (leaving the 1st time and coming back). Some idiot, God forgive me, but hey -- this person had this big dog tied to a tree on some type of rigged up rope/chain combo. The thing was red whatever it was. And, it wasn't tied around the bottom trunk of the tree. The dog was chained to one of the branches! Come on, now -- a 100+ lb. dog tied to a tree BRANCH -- not a very thick branch either. There is no fence or enclosure that would keep the dog contained if it were to break a branch or the chain. I decided that we would not chance it.

We made it home around 9:45 p.m. I called roadside assistance to find out what happened. They said that someone came but I was not at the car. I point blank told them that I didn't believe that they showed up & the reasons why. This morning my children's father dropped them off at school and took me to my car once again after I called roadside assistance again. They finally showed up and took less than 5 minutes to unlock the door. Just as I had already suspected, they were unable to find the park yesterday and the only contact number they had was my cell phone number!

I am sure that today will be much more pleasant than yesterday. If I do decide to go walking today, I will have my spare key tied to my shoelace BEFORE I leave my home.

Too much drama for a single mama :) !

When Temptation Abounds

It is hard enough staying on track without distractions. Just imagine the struggle one incurs when faced with distractions that can/will cause you to lose focus, get off track and/or stumble. I feel like I've taken more of a tumble. There are things in my life that I consider highly important and require my constant attentiveness. Health and fitness is one of them. I refuse to allow myself to fall into the category of being considered 'over-weight'. At 5'3 1/2" tall, I become alarmed when the scale tips past the 140 mark, which leads me to the reason for this post.

I had a regular routine doctor's visit last week, which I was not looking forward to. The #1 reason being the procedure itself, which I won't get into and I am soooo glad that it's over. The 2nd reason for my dreading to go to the doctor was because I knew I had gained weight. I just underestimated how much. The last time I stepped on a scale (when I was vigorously keeping in shape by weight training & jogging) I weighed 137 lbs. Now, I am at 144 -- NOT acceptable. I am seriously trying not to let it get me down. It seems that after the doctor's visit, I am noticing my clothes fitting tighter. But, at least I can still get into most of them.

One of the main causes of my weight gain is the abundance of unhealthy snacks at my job (too tempting). This doesn't even include the cakes/cookies/ice cream or pies that are brought in at least once a month in celebration of that months birthdays. Yeah, I'm a strong woman -- but hey, at times, I am not that strong (well, at least I haven't been the past couple of months).

But, as of yesterday, Monday, May 16, 2005 -- I will NOT, I repeat, will NOT allow myself to give in to the aromatic fragrances of fattening foods, delightful looking donuts, mouthwatering cakes, cookies, chips & dips that are displayed on a table in the copy room, (that I regularly have to venture into, at any given time. My first test will be this morning. There are 2 different types of cakes, chips and dip to celebrate several May birthdays. Tomorrow we will have lunch at The Cheesecake Factory. Oh, but I've planned ahead. There is nothing like an accountability partner. I took care of that yesterday. She will be checking on me to see that I don't give in. I went to the grocery store yesterday and purchased fruit to snack on instead of grabbing a bag of cheetos or a rice krispie treat. I also brought yogurt this morning.

I am serious about this. I will be eating healthier on a more consistent basis (I can indulge every now & then -- just not often). Exercise will be just like breathing (a natural thing) regardless of what's going on in my life. Growth & development applies to all areas of our lives; mental, spiritual and physical. This is what I consider a balanced life. One that includes spiritual growth and maturity, constant learning to stimulate your mind and maintaining a healthy & fit lifestyle.

There's nothing wrong with being tempted -- as long as you don't give in!

Lifestyles of the wealthy college student

I know that those with wealth are not perfect but I would have never imagined some of the things written by an adjunct professor on her blog about students at a local prestigous college. I admit, I visited the blog, read a few posts and found myself wanting to read more (hey, it is quite interesting, somewhat frustrating as well, due to the fact that I work my butt off -- without outside assistance -- to finish college assignments and turn in reports by the due date. Not to mention that I'm doing this while maintaining a full-time job and performing parental duties).

I found out about the blog after reading an article in today's local newspaper (on-line version). Although the stories are quite interesting, it is a shame that this professor wrote about very private/personal conversations with students. She could have been more discrete in describing those she talked about (at least enough to the point that whoever visited her blog would NOT be able to figure out that she is talking about their college and possibly the person reading at the time as well). Now that the college administrators (and students and other faculty members) are aware of her identity, she is no longer employed there.

I can't help but wonder, what made them feel so confident & secure that they would share such personal information with a professor. I guess I'm not so quick to share the most intimate or private details of my life with others. To me, some things are better off kept between you and God.

Do I see a movie in the making???

Oh well . . .

what else can I say. I've gotten my final grade for Biology -- a C. A stinking C. According to my miscalculations (and several different ways I might ad) I figured I was going to get a B. Well I did manage to get a B in the lab class, but that's only 25% of the final grade. I know, I know, it could be worse.

My heart is seriously aching. I think I'll call the Thai restaurant down the street and order my favorite dish, chicken-fried rice (Thai style of course -- believe me, there is a different). Hopefully this will lift my spirits. If not, I'm sure my children's smiling faces will do the trick when I see them this evening.

I'll just have to study harder next semester.

2 Down & 1 To Go

What a relief! After about 6 p.m. (CST) today my brain will no longer be operating in overdrive. I have taken 2 finals this past weekend and will take the last one today. I enjoy learning and I am always wanting to better myself but this semester has left me mentally weary.

Maybe the fact that my 4th grade son had just as much homework as I did has something to do with it. Before I started my classes in January, I felt like I was already in school due to helping him with homework. I'm just as happy that the school year is over for my children as well. No more Thursday folders coming home with tons of graded papers and notes to parents. No more planners that need to be signed each weekday (not that I always remembered to sign them). No more writing checks for breakfast and lunch at school. And last, but certainly not least, I don't have to get up quite as early (especially when they're out of town for 2 to 3 weeks)!

For the next 2 months I will be living carefree (to a certain extent). Summer II starts in July and I've enrolled in an on-line math course, which shouldn't be too strenuous since math is one of my stronger subjects. I am ready for the summer heat & swimming pools. Bally's here I come!!

Just Rambling

My kids are the greatest. I finally got tired of looking at a few stains in my carpet and started to remove them with some Awesome carpet cleaner (that really is awesome -- I mean the stuff works good). Well, I got a phone call which meant that I had to take a break from my carpet cleaning. I was on the phone for quite some time (went in my bedroom and sat down to continue talking). When I get off the phone and walk into the living room. . . . the carpet is CLEAN! Oh, my sweet, sweet babies. They have scrubbed the carpet better than I could have done myself. I managed to step in a very wet spot by mistake - but I didn't care, I just turned the ceiling fan on to help it dry quicker. My heart was really touched at their unselfish act to help their momma out. This is the kind of thing that remains in my memory when they do something to disappoint me. There are so many other times when they have touched my heart, lifted my spirits and/or made me smile that overrides the bad days they've had at school.

How coincidental that Mother's Day is just 2 days away. I hadn't thought of it when I started this post. This has always been a somewhat difficult day for me. Some years are not so hard as others. After about 23 years the hurt is still there. My mother died of cancer when I was about 13 years old. I don't know if the length of her illness had an effect on the intensity of my hurt or not. There's nothing worse than watching someone you love (and who loves you) suffer day after day after day, before eventually having to be confined to a hospital bed, where you eventually breathe your last breath.

My mother gave birth to 4 daughters. All with different fathers. This has at many times puzzled me. Regardless, I loved her with all of my heart. For one, she kept us ALL together. Although we loved visiting my grandmother and spending the night at her house, she never raised us until my mother died. My mother was determined to raise her children. She married (someone other than any of our biological fathers) when I was about 3 or 4 years old. Our stepfather was strict and we really didn't like him. Aside from that, we were extremely well cared for. We were not considered a middle income family, but I didn't feel as if we were 'low-income'. We ate full-course meals everyday (except weekends, which were hamburger & fries days or something similar). We received new clothes for every major holiday and at each beginning of a school year. We received the majority of things that we asked for on our Christmas lists. Overall we were happy. My mother kept a clean house and taught us the importance of being clean and neat as well.

I miss her today just as much as I did the day she died. I pray that I can be just as devoted, encouraging and loving to my children as she was to me and my sisters. I thank God for the short time that he shared her with me, allowing her to positively mold me during my childhood, which would prepare me for motherhood later in my life.

Happy Mother's Day to all of you mothers.

Gettin' My Swing On

I've been comtemplating taking swing out lessons for the past several months. The biggest issue was not having the time and/or not having a babysitter. A friend called me yesterday evening as I was working in my yard and convinced me to meet him at a skating rink about 15 miles from my home -- and I could bring my kids. I quickly changed clothes, put on shoes with a slick sole and headed out the door.

The instructors were very nice. There were only 3 of us there, which didn't matter to me. I loved it! And for only $5 bucks a lesson -- I can do that :). The difference about these lessons are that we're dancing to gospel music -- which is different but uplifting, especially since I looooove me some gospel music. I believe the instructor is just now offering lessons at this location so maybe the attendance will increase soon. We were there for about an hour (I made it an hour late -- so it would have been a 2 hour lesson). I learned half of the moves last night (yeah, I have rhythm). The instructor and my friend said that I did very well for my first lesson. Lessons at the skating rink will be on Tuesdays and Saturdays. If you have children, they will be able to skate on Saturdays. Sounds like a treat for both me and my kids. This is something that I definitely want to continue.

A night at the ballpark

I had a wonderful weekend. I went jogging early Saturday morning (ran 3 laps non-stop). I tell you, it is much more motivating to jog/exercise with a partner (I would have definitely stopped after the first lap or lap and a half). I went to my lab class which let out an hour early (thank you Jesus!). I didn't have to go over the posted speed limit too much to make it home, feed my dog and meet the rest of my church singles group in the church parking lot so that we could go see the Texas Rangers play the Boston Red Sox.

Although the Rangers didn't win, I had a wonderful time and met some very nice people. I spent too much money on food & water ($3.75 for a 24 oz. bottle of Ozarka). We had good seats. I did the smart thing and took a small blanket in addition to my jacket. The temperature was around 62 degrees (which is a bit chilly for me).

We made it back to the church parking lot around 11 p.m. I managed to get a nap in on the bus -- traffic was horrible leaving and it seemed to take forever before we made it to the highway.

I am so glad that I went.

Don't you just love good service

I went through a Church's chicken drive-thru to pick up some lunch earlier. I always order their tender strip kid's meal which comes with a side, biscuit and a drink (the only other option is a 5 piece strip meal with a biscuit -- which is more than what I would want to eat). Anway, I place my order and decline the drink since I don't drink soda.

I drive up to the window and I can see the manager standing there holding a small cup as he's talking to the cashier. He opens the window and asks why I don't want the drink. I inform him that I don't drink soda. The cashier had already asked earlier if I wanted an extra side, which I decline as well due to the fact that I am trying to lose the extra weight that I've gained (which has gone straight to my midsection).

So the manager's standing there smiling. You can tell he's thinking. He then asks if I would like a jalapeno pepper since I don't want the drink. I decline again, telling him that I don't care for jalapeno's. At this point I'm feeling almost guilty for not taking something. I didn't expect them to deduct money from my order since it was only a little over $2 to begin with. He also asked if I wanted a cup of water, to which I said no -- I apologized and told him that I have bottled water at work. He's still smiling. He told me what a good thing it is that I don't drink soda since it is really not good for you. I pay for my food, thank the cashier and drive off.

I'm a frequent fast-food customer and I just really appreciate it when I receive excellent service. As I drove off I couldn't help but think, hey - I could have asked for an extra tender strip -- naaaahhhh, that would have been pushing it :).

The Joy of Accomplishment

There's nothing like starting a task and continuing until it is completed (with satisfaction). I decided to 'improve' the landscaping in front of my home. Little did I realize what a strenuous task it would be. I mean, after some mornings of digging up grass and dirt and positioning the brick edging in front of my bushes just right, my back, shoulders and arms would ache. But it was so refreshing and therapeutic. Once I got started I didn't want to stop. I worked up a sweat, got a little dirty and even tossed a few worms out of the way -- eeewwww -- the worst part!

I guess I would call this Phase I. The area in front of my shrubs is completed on both sides of the house. I made a nice little decorative area on each side of my sidewalk that is edged with bricks. It really stands out with the lighting that I placed along the sidewalk not long after I moved in. I even planted a few flowers -- what I had not intended on doing initially. They are annuals, are a variety of colors and I can't remember what they're called. Oh well, it looks nice. I still need to spruce up the area around my 2 trees -- which will be Phase II. I'll probably start on that in about a week. I really enjoy working in my yard. I don't mean just mowing the lawn but getting creative and making it look really nice. I plan on adding some kind of colorful plants or bushes in front of my shrubs. Maybe my effort to spruce of my yard will inspire other neighbors (to mow their lawn on a regular basis if nothing else).

That's a whole different story. I get irritated with homeowners who don't take care of their property -- I'm talking tall grass and/or weeds, raggedy fences. It makes the neighborhood look bad. If me, a single parent with 2 kids making under $50K a year can find a way to maintain my property, I know these other people can. Borrow a lawnmower if you have to. Go to Home Depot, buy wood to fill in the gaps of pieces missing from your fence (it's no more than $1.50 -- I've had to do it myself) and fix that jacked up mess! You don't need a power drill -- at least I didn't. I've got your basic hammer and a box of long nails (I had help picking out the size). I was quite proud of myself after replacing the wood that my adorable dog had broken.

Anyway, enough of that. I love driving past the front of my house just to see my handy work (and make sure none of them bad kids have been messing with my flowers -- just kidding :).

Words of Encouragement

Here's another one of those encouraging e-mails that was sent to me last week. I saved this one just so that I could look at it from time to time.

The road to success is not straight. There is a curve called Failure, a loop called Confusion, speed bumps called Friends, red lights called Enemies, caution lights called Family. You will have flats called Jobs.

But, if you have a spare called Determination, an engine called Perseverance, insurance called Faith, a driver called Jesus, you will make it to a place called Success.

Not Totally Abandoned

I haven't completely abandoned my blog. I've been so busy at work, not to mention trying to keep up with class assignments that I just haven't had time to jot down my thoughts or share whats been going on in my world. I have about 2 more weeks before the semester is officially over. I'm a little nervous about my grade in Biology. I will be happy with a C. Although I feel that I am well above 'average' :).

I have registered for a class at church which is 'Discovering Your Purpose'. I am so excited. It starts this week and will last for 8 weeks (one night per week). I just love it when churches have the resources for members (and non-members) to develop spiritually. I also filled out an information card with our singles group so that I can be 'plugged in' to the happenings going on in that ministry. I am also debating on taking a summer course. It would be much easier for me if the class I wanted to take was offered on-line, but, that is not the case. Does it sound like I'm trying to do to much? I think I can handle it. I'm the type of person that enjoys staying busy (as long as it's productive or is considered a positive activity). I do believe that an idle mind is a devil's workshop. I also plan on getting back into my exercise routine -- which I completely abandoned after I started school. There's one more thing that I want to do -- take swing-out lessons. I have a friend who has been trying to get me to meet him at various places in the metroplex but I have yet to go.

Maybe while my kids are gone to Oklahoma for a few weeks in June I'll be able to do one of my favorite hobbies, read a good book. I haven't done this in a quite a while.

There is soooo much that I want to do.