Another great weekend

I had a very nice weekend. I closed as planned Saturday morning at 10 a.m. My mortgage payments are actually $10 less than what was originally stated to me which is even better. My son's new Captain Bed is on order and should arrive within 3 to 5 weeks. I am going to let him pick out a color for his room (no black). I can't believe he even suggested that I paint his room black. Unless he changes his mind it will more than likely be some shade of blue.

I spoke to a cousin who is all for us going on vacation in March to Las Vegas. I'm so excited, my FIRST vacation. I am 36 years old and have never, I mean never, gone on vacation. My ex and I didn't even go anywhere for a honeymoon after we were married -- at the JOP. Was I a cheap bride or what? Anyway, all 3 of my sisters are saying they're in on this vacation as well as a friend of the family. I have a friend in Big 'D' who says that she is in as well. This may turn out to be a vacation to remember. It will only be for 3 nights & 4 days, but hey, I'm not complaining.

Changing the subject, my love interest -- yeah, I said it -- my love interest, cooked dinner for me on Sunday (after working 8 hours) and brought it to my house. We've been having (or shall I say trying to have) a serious conversation for several days now. He wanted to take me to dinner on Friday so that we could 'talk' but for some reason, I wasn't mentally prepared (plus I didn't have a baby sitter). I have told him how I feel about him and that I want to be more than friends. He has obviously been having trouble telling me what it is that he wants from me/how he feels about me. He is also letting me know that he is not trying to get out of my life. He has not stopped calling. The dinner on Sunday threw me for a loop. I made it clear to him that I am not trying to tie him down or to force him into a relationship that he is not ready to be in. On the other hand, I don't want to keep spending large amounts of time with him knowing that I have strong feelings for him and see him as more than just a friend, especially if the feeling is not mutual.

Again, knowing ALL of this, he still called on Sunday and let me know that he was cooking dinner for us. After dinner he stayed a couple of hours, we watched the Godfather, and then he left. Before leaving he gave me a kiss on the forehead and bent down so that I could do the same. He said that my first kiss was 'fake' and insisted that I kiss him again, which I did. This morning I get a call from him on my cell phone around 8:30 a.m. He said that he was calling to say hi. Now, I know that I've said more than once that I was through with him and I didn't want to waste any more of my time and blah, blah, blah. But it's easier said than done. I told him a few days ago that I thought he was selfish and then he goes and does something as thoughtful as cooking dinner for me and my kids (which I know he had to go to the grocery store to get the majority - if not all - of what he needed to cook). To top it off, I didn't work that day, he did. Why can't things be clear cut and just flow smoothly.