de·pres·sion : a psychoneurotic or psychotic disorder marked especially by sadness, inactivity, difficulty in thinking and concentration, a significant increase or decrease in appetite and time spent sleeping, feelings of dejection and hopelessness, and sometimes suicidal tendencies
I would say that at different times during my marriage I experienced all of the above except dejection and hopelessness. I am ashamed to admit it but at the time of our first separation (I was 2 months pregnant with our first child) I thought of committing suicide. I am so glad that God intervened. This was probably the WORST state of depression, due to marital problems, that I have experienced. When I decided to leave for good and file for a divorce there was no emotional turmoil. It was more like a burden had been removed from my shoulders. I know that God hates divorce but I honestly felt relieved. I am certain that God has a better plan for me, which is why I did not let my depression get the best of me. Things have really improved for the better, especially my relationship with Christ. I still go through trials and run into brick walls on occasion but it has not overwhelmed me. As Fred Hammond sings, "Hold on and wait just a little while, he'll bring of song of strength in the midnight. Touch our lives with your loving hands. Hold on, hold on!"
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