Thursday, October 28, 2004

Gotta get this off my chest ...

My son loves me so much he'll do anything for me . . . . except be good at school. I just don't understand it. He is very consistent with talking when he isn't supposed to and not completeing his assignments. He's doing better than when school started, but it is not his best. I could understand if he had a learning or attention problem but he doesn't. My heart is literally aching. Am I overly concerned? He's in the 4th grade, which I know has no bearing on future college scholarships but still -- I KNOW he can do better. He knows how to behave properly. I talk to him constantly about being obedient and respectful towards teachers as well as other students. I'm getting sooooo tired of this. I could see if I was one of those single parents who put themselves before their children. I'm not hanging out on the weekends while my kids are with anybody I can find to babysit. Any man that I meet knows upfront that I have not 1 but 2 children and they take up a great deal of my time. I spend quality time with them by taking them to parks, outdoor festivals, restaurants, etc. I show them as well as tell them how much I love them. As soon as my divorce was final (and after losing our home) I had my mind focused on buying a house for me and my children within 2 years -- and it happened. They have a fenced back yard where they can play (in a nice area with a good school district). They have neighborhood friends who stop by to see if they can play if they're not already outside. My son has lost his playing priviledges. You would think that would motivate him to do better but it hasn't. Sometimes I feel like maybe I need to let him live with his father. I know that is not the best solution. He is so sweet, caring and mannerable everywhere else but school. I've been praying, I encourage him to pray as well so that he'll make the right decisions. When he thinks about doing wrong, I tell him to ask God to help him do right. He has 2 F's on his 3-week progress report. He has 3 more weeks to bring those grades up before his final report card. I was about to sign him up for basketball but I'm not so sure now. It seems like I'm rewarding him by allowing him to do something fun even though he hasn't earned it. On the other hand, maybe participating in a sport that he likes will help him become better disciplined at school. I don't have much time to make up my mind (unless I pay an extra $15 for late registration). My situation makes me think of Teresa Heinz Kerry's response to a question asked of her about the similarities between her and Laura Bush. She responded that she didn't think Mrs. Bush had ever worked outside of the home. Well I'm here to tell her and everyone else, parenting is a FULL-time job and requires MUCH dedication, skill, patience and the ability to be multi-tasked -- oh, and I can't forget PRAYER. As a parent, there are times that you will need to put your emotions, frustrations and whatever else you're dealing with on the back burner and tend to your children. I've come close to tears today. Even though I feel as if I don't deserve this - I wouldn't trade my son for anything. Just needed to get this off my chest.

2 comments:

Pincushion said...

First of of...HUGGGGGS to you Tam..
I can sense your frustration, but believe me..this too shall pass, nothing ever remains the same. I hope i am not sounding preachy..all I want to do is to reassure you :). You are doing a wonderful job, being a single parent is no joke..and being a single GOOD parent is even harder ! You are doing your very best and thats so important..you deserve a pat :). Hang in there and you'll see it'll get better..it always does !!!
Good luck and best wishes !!

tan247 said...

Pincushion -- Thanks for the comforting words and the huggggsss! It's amazing how uplifting others can be even though they are miles away :) .