Just Rambling

My kids are the greatest. I finally got tired of looking at a few stains in my carpet and started to remove them with some Awesome carpet cleaner (that really is awesome -- I mean the stuff works good). Well, I got a phone call which meant that I had to take a break from my carpet cleaning. I was on the phone for quite some time (went in my bedroom and sat down to continue talking). When I get off the phone and walk into the living room. . . . the carpet is CLEAN! Oh, my sweet, sweet babies. They have scrubbed the carpet better than I could have done myself. I managed to step in a very wet spot by mistake - but I didn't care, I just turned the ceiling fan on to help it dry quicker. My heart was really touched at their unselfish act to help their momma out. This is the kind of thing that remains in my memory when they do something to disappoint me. There are so many other times when they have touched my heart, lifted my spirits and/or made me smile that overrides the bad days they've had at school.

How coincidental that Mother's Day is just 2 days away. I hadn't thought of it when I started this post. This has always been a somewhat difficult day for me. Some years are not so hard as others. After about 23 years the hurt is still there. My mother died of cancer when I was about 13 years old. I don't know if the length of her illness had an effect on the intensity of my hurt or not. There's nothing worse than watching someone you love (and who loves you) suffer day after day after day, before eventually having to be confined to a hospital bed, where you eventually breathe your last breath.

My mother gave birth to 4 daughters. All with different fathers. This has at many times puzzled me. Regardless, I loved her with all of my heart. For one, she kept us ALL together. Although we loved visiting my grandmother and spending the night at her house, she never raised us until my mother died. My mother was determined to raise her children. She married (someone other than any of our biological fathers) when I was about 3 or 4 years old. Our stepfather was strict and we really didn't like him. Aside from that, we were extremely well cared for. We were not considered a middle income family, but I didn't feel as if we were 'low-income'. We ate full-course meals everyday (except weekends, which were hamburger & fries days or something similar). We received new clothes for every major holiday and at each beginning of a school year. We received the majority of things that we asked for on our Christmas lists. Overall we were happy. My mother kept a clean house and taught us the importance of being clean and neat as well.

I miss her today just as much as I did the day she died. I pray that I can be just as devoted, encouraging and loving to my children as she was to me and my sisters. I thank God for the short time that he shared her with me, allowing her to positively mold me during my childhood, which would prepare me for motherhood later in my life.

Happy Mother's Day to all of you mothers.